Team
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GM
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| Peterborough Adjustable Spanners |
Tim Kastelle |
Other information:
Head coach: Rick Tocchet
Alternate: Dean Chynoweth
Arena: Peterborough Memorial Centre
Team Captain: Charles Darwin
Alternate Captains: Mats Sundin, Jonathan Cheechoo, Nick Boynton
PR man: Dave Foreman, George Orwell
Mascot: George the Powerful Owl
Farm Team: Melbourne Situationists
Farm coach: Tony Granato
Alternate: Cammi Granato
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| Ocho Rios Ganja Gods |
Pat Herrington |
Other information:
Farm Team: Sussex Eagles
Pro Coach: Bill Hicks
Pro Alternate Coach: Al MacAdam,
Farm Coach: Mike Eagles
Farm Alternate Coach: none
Arena: Hartford Civic Centre
Press Director: Foster Hewitt
Mascot: Ernie the Endangered Species
Hartford Whalers:
Scouting Department:
Head of Scouting (Can): Dale Hawerchuk
Head of Scouting (US): Pat Lafontaine
Head of Scouting (Europe): Jari Kurri
Head of Scouting (Misc.): Danny Grant
Commentators: Bob Cole, Lewis Black
Medical:
Trainer: Dr. Peabody
Anthem Singer: Thom Yorke
Sussex Eagles:
Alternate Coaches: none
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| Thunder Bay Thunder |
Mike Robinson |
Other information:
Pro Coach: Brian Kilrea
Captain: Jason Firth
Alternates: Ron Francis and Jay Bouwmeester
Arena: Thunder Bay Sports Complex
Farm Team: Kalamazoo Kutters
Farm Coach: Robert Hughes
Farm Assistant Coach: George Jefferson
Press Director: Robin Williams
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| Whitefish Snipers |
Steve Wright |
Other information:
Farm Team : Red Deer Dragons
Captain : Markus Naslund
A. Captain : Mike Comrie
A. Captain : Wendell Clark
Head Coach : Marc Crawford
Farm Coach : Mike Johnston
Goalie Coach : Vladislav Tretiak
NA American Scout : Lou Lamoriello
European Scout : Kent Nilsson
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| Cornerbrook Cod Fish |
Michelle Vendetti |
Other information:
Pro Team: Corner Brook Cod Fish
Pro Coach: Joey Smallwood
Captain:Stephen King
Assistants:Alexei Yashin, Jonas Hoglund
Arena:The Fishing Pond
Farm Team:Joe Bats' Arm Beaters
Farm Coach:Shannon Tweed (The pride of Nfld)
Farm Assistant Coach:Gorden Pincent
Press Director: The Moose
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| Katmandu Hellcats |
Andrew Drummond |
Other information:
Pro Team: Katmandu Hellcats
Owner: Andrew "Bulldog" Drummond
Head Coach: "Iron" Mike Keenan
Assistant Coach: Keith Primeau (penalty killing), Mike Vernon (goalie coach)
Trainer: Jacob Two-Two
Team Doctor: Dr. Kildare
Water Boy: Bobby Boucher
Arena: The Gun Kamdev Ice Palace
Mascot: Hellcat Kitty
Captain: Joe Nieuwendyk
Assistant Captains: Steve Duchesne, Homer Simpson
Farm Team: Mount Everest Climbers
Farm Team Coach: Cosmo Kramer
Farm Team Assistant Coach: George Costanza
Press Secretary to the Bulldog: Ivanna Humpalot
Play-by-play radio man on Hellcats radio: Kurtis Foster.
Press Director: The Ram
Hockey Ambassador to Katmandu: Derek Sanderson.
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| Winnipeg Dipsomaniacs |
Sedsey |
Other information:
Pro Coach: Juss Dooit
Pro Alternate Coach: Mike Ricci (PK), Dave Poulin (D)
Team Captain: Bobby Clarke
Alternate Captains: Dan Cavanaugh, Scott Stevens
Arena: Sherbrook St Solopad
Farm Team: Seddon's Corner Droogs
Farm Coach: Fuckface
Pro Scout: Ken Hitchcock
Scout: Dave Poulin
Arena: Isolationium
Press Director: Urban Hermit
Mascot: none, but we plan to run around the area in between whistles with an Easton head on a stick...heh heh (no really, none)
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| Miami Dream |
Glen Trainor |
Other information:
Pro Coach:Wayne Gretzky
Pro Assistant Coach:Mark Messier
Goaltender Coach : Grant Fuhr
Press Director: KERMIT THE FROG
Field Correspondant: Miss Piggy
MIAMI SUN COACHES CORNER:Don Cherry@Ron Maclean
Director of Public Relations : Bill Clinton
Team Surgeon: Dr. Doolittle
Team Physician: Dr. Seuss
Nurse: Cindy Crawford
Team Psychic: Ann Landers
Head Trainer: Yoda
Conditioning Trainer: OB1 KANOBE
Motivational Trainer: Dr. Frasier Crane
Sports Psychologist: Bob "Hockey Insider"MacKenzie
Head Scout: Al Arbour
Assistant Scout: Scotty Bowman
Statistics manager: C3P0
Equipment Manager: Jacques Strap
V.P. of Player Personnel
Team Bodyguard : ROCKY Balboa
Stickboy : Pinochio
CAPTAIN---- 8 John Trainor
ASSISTANT--75 Mike Morris
ASSISTANT--55 Shawn Belle
MIAMI CHEERLEADERS: DREAM DANCERS
DREAM DANCER:Catherine Zeta Jones
DREAM DANCER:Brittney Spears
DREAM DANCER:Cameron Diaz
DREAM DANCER:Jennifer Love Hewitt
DREAM DANCER:Jennifer Lopez
DREAM DANCER:Tiffani Amber Thiessen
DREAM DANCER:Alyssa Milano
DREAM DANCER:Carmen Electra
Arena: Budwiezer Bleachers
Play-By-Play Commentator: Fuzzy Bear
National Anthems Singer: Synia Twain
Masters of Ceremonies: ERNIE@BURT
Mascot: Eddie the Eagle
Zamboni Driver: Mario Andretti
Farm Team: MINNISOTA MOSQUITOS
Farm Coach: Max Trainor
Farm Assistant Coach: Kevin Lowe
Farm Assistant Coach: Craig MacTavish
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| Texas Tornados |
Cliff Whalen |
Other information:
Pro Coach: WALTER GRETZKY assistant is Keith Gretzky
Captain:CLARK KENT
Assistants: ERIC LINDROS and ADAM OATS
Arena: STORM CENTER
Farm Team: THUNDER BAY TWISTERS
Farm Coach: BRETT LINDROS
Farm Assistant Coach: BOB PROBERT
Press Director: FAITH HILL
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| Portland Grave Diggers |
Peter Nilsson |
Other information:
Head coach: Cam Neely
Alternate coach: Mats Näslund
Head scout: Anders Hedberg
Scout: Denis Savard
Team Captain: Eric Staal
Alternates: Sergei Fedorov, Kristian Huselius
PR Man/Woman: Jack Black, Sarah Michelle Gellar
Team Mascots: Radioactive man, Fallout boy and Dropout boy.
Team Psychiatrist: Dr. Phil
National Anthem singer: Tommy Körberg
Arena: Portland Arena ( a.k.a. The Grave )
Capacity: 18350
Farm team: Sunnydale Slayers
Farm coach: Mark Howe
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| Waco Flaming Cacti |
Mark Brashear |
Other information:
Head coach: Dusty Bottoms
Alternates: Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander
Arena: Los GringoDome
Captain : Carlo Colaiacovo
Alternates: Eric Godard, Dustin Brown
PR: Dusty Bottoms
Team Physio: Sweet Buttercup
Farm team name: Laredo Armadillos
Farm team coach: El Guapo
Mascot - The Invisible Swordsman
Anthem Singer - The Singing Bush
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| Denver Dwarves |
Magnus Nilsson |
Other information:
Owners: Ali Baba Grill (51%) Public Shares (49%)
Head Coach: Miss Patty Burns
Alternate Coach: Paul Coffey, Pat Burns
Farm Team Name: Salt Lake Legions
Farm Team Coach: Mini-Me
Farm Team Alternate Coach: Tim Hunter
Head Scout: Shane Churla
PR director: Barry Melrose
Arena: Denver Coliseum
Capacity: 666
Zamboni driver: Gimli the Dwarf
Team Motivational Speaker: "Tiger" Williams
Additional Staff: BoD (Bashful, Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Sneezy and Sleepy), Board of Dwarves.
Team Spy: 007
Captain: Håkan Loob
Alternates: Mario Lemieux, Bryan McCabe
Mascot: Inflatable Snow-White
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| Troy Titans |
Tom Foran |
Other information:
Pro Team: Troy Titans
Pro Coach: Gordon "Red" Berenson
Captain: Steve Larmer
Alternates: Karel Rachunek, Benoit Brunet
Arena: Troy Sports Center
Farm Team: ????
Farm Coach: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen
Farm Assistant Coach: N/A
Press Director: Simon Cowell
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| Capreol Cobras |
Wayne Trainor |
Other information:
Pro Team: CAPREOL COBRAS
Pro Coach: Gary Coupal
Captain: Todd Bertuzzi
Assistants: Gary Coupal, Kurt Sauer
Arena: Capreol Community Center
Farm Team: Coniston JR. Cobras
Farm Coach: Marcel Dionne
Farm Assistant Coach: Jimmy Waite
Press Director: John Smith
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| Montreal Mayhem |
Amrit Sandhu |
Other information:
Head Coach - Toe Blake - revived using Mayhem Magic
Asst Coach (Fwds - Muckers) - John Ferguson
Asst Coach (Fwds - Bangers) - Chris Nilan
Asst Coach (Dmen - Bangers) - Larry Robinson
Asst Coach (Dmen - Rushers) - Doug Harvey - more Mayhem Magic
Asst Coach (Scorers) - Guy Lafluer
Asst Coach (Passers) - Jean Beliveau
Asst Coach (PP) - Steve Shutt
Asst Coach (PK) - Bob Gainey
Asst Coach (Pests) - Mario Tremblay
Gman Coach - Ken Dryden
Asst Coach (Stifle your Ass) - Jacques Lemaire
Asst Coach (Blow your Ass out of Town) - Maurice Richard - Mayhem Magic!!!
Team Docs - Papa Shango & Undertaker (needs someone to use Mayem Magic)
Farm Team - Vancouver Vanquish
Head Coach - Pat Quinn
Asst Coach - Thomas Gradin
Asst Coach - Kurt Fraser
Gmen Coach - Richard Broduer
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| Whitby Warriors |
Steve Vendetti |
Other information:
Pro Team: Whitby Warriors
Pro Coach: Triumph
Captain: Mike Pecca
Alternates: Tim Ramholt
Arena: Lakeview Ice pad # 6
Farm Team: Brooklin Brawlers
Farm Coach: Alan Eagleson
Farm Alternate Coach: Bruce McNall
Press Director: Triumph
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